Ben Speaks Out!

Bug Ben with your postal questions, he is hard to stump.

We dug up Ben Franklin, the 1^st Postmaster of the USPS, to help us out with some of the grave issues facing the postal industry today.

Yo Ben:

I want to take advantage of the automation discounts offered for Standard Mail, but taking my mail to the Post Office is not my idea of a good time. Is there a way that I can have my cake and eat it too?

-Phineas from Philly

Dear Phineas:

So you want my people to carry your discounted mail from your place to the post office? Ordinarily you would be met by righteous indignation, “That is precisely why we offer the discount…so we don’t have to do the work ourselves, you ninny”. However, since you hail from my old home town I will give you an inside tip. There are transportation companies that specialize in this sort of thing, and for a small fee, you can get them to do the work that you apparently wish to avoid. One such firm is Norco Delivery.

Say Ben:

I am sick and tired of seeing my competitor’s mail going out at a lower price than mine! How come he gets such a good deal? Does he have an inside track with you? Is the post master his brother in law? I see that he only pays $0.20 per piece. What gives?

-Annoyed in Anaheim

Dear Annoyed:

Your complaint sounds a bit Mickey Mouse to me, downright Goofy actually. While you don’t tell me what you are paying for your mail, I can tell you how your competitor is getting richer than Scrooge Mc Duck by saving on his postage. It’s called Standard Mail, Automated, 3 Digit Sort. Buy a bulk mail permit from where you plan to drop your mail, because we don’t pick it up for this ridiculous rate. If your mail is 3.3 oz or less, and it qualifies as a letter, you take 200 or more pieces that are presorted by 3 Digit Zip code down to your local Post Office with the correct paperwork, (where you bought the permit) you too can qualify for that happy rate.

PS: My friends at San Diego Postal and Shipping Equipment will be having some seminars on this very topic.

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